Lately...

Time passes so quickly and i have been working on the new market for 2 months without me realising it...

I would say everything is quite well i guess...

Workload is fine...just that there are some tedious cases that i need to tackle everyday...

And as i am the so called "most senior" member among the 3 of us working in the new market, i am the de facto leader of the new market team...thought the official leader is still my team leader now...

The other 2 members always refer to me when they have doubts and even my team leader has to consult with me sometimes as i am doing the work on day to day basis and my team leader is not...

Recently,one of the team member has left the company and my team leader has given me full authority to choose a new member from the japan market which surprised me...

That practically makes me like a team leader...maybe i think too much...=.= 

But, i don't think i am a good leader...

First, i am not patient...

Yes, i am more than willing to teach the new staff...BUT...i don't like repeating over and over again...

If any of my member asks me the same question over and over again,i got pissed off very easily...

Especially when i have a lot of work to do...

Only asks me when u have checked everything and you do not have a clue of what's going on...

I have to admit that sometimes i don't know what to do as well...the team is still new and there're some cases that is unheard of before...

But...for most of the times, i can always find the answer of their question when i "investigate" what's going on...

I have always tell them that always check for everything 1st and make sure you have an idea of what is happening before taking any actions as our jobs requires to dig deep down the line in order to get a better and bigger picture of the situation...

BUT...

THEY NEVER LISTEN!!!!!!

That's why i am not a good leader...

Secondly, i have anger management issues...

Yes...i got pissed off fairly easily...i dunno how to hide my feelings...especially when i am angry...

You can always tell that i am angry...

Sudden raise of the tone of my voice...indifferent expressions & gestures...hitting the keyboard very hard ( i always do that...) >.<

Thirdly, i am not a good communicator...

Yaya, i don't like to talk...but the fact is u have to talk...no matter what & where u work...

But sometimes...i just feel like shut up and do my work quietly...

Next, i am not friendly...

I am not too close with my team members, both the new market & japan market ones...

I do not keep in contact with them after work...

I have no idea of their latest happenings...

Also...

When they are laughing out loud to a joke or talking about something or gossipping, i would always keep quite and do my work as if nothing has happened...

I guess a good leader should be the one that knows the team member and close to them rite?

I am not...

Last but not least, i have a weird personality...

Sometimes i am friendly, sometimes i am very cool (cool as in "not talking")

I guess my colleague must be talking behind my back,saying how weird i am...

I am trying to change it...but...it's not easy...>.<

HMMM...

Maybe i think too much...