Time passes so quickly and i have been working on the new market for 2 months without me realising it...
I would say everything is quite well i guess...
Workload is fine...just that there are some tedious cases that i need to tackle everyday...
And as i am the so called "most senior" member among the 3 of us working in the new market, i am the de facto leader of the new market team...thought the official leader is still my team leader now...
The other 2 members always refer to me when they have doubts and even my team leader has to consult with me sometimes as i am doing the work on day to day basis and my team leader is not...
Recently,one of the team member has left the company and my team leader has given me full authority to choose a new member from the japan market which surprised me...
That practically makes me like a team leader...maybe i think too much...=.=
But, i don't think i am a good leader... First, i am not patient... Yes, i am more than willing to teach the new staff...BUT...i don't like repeating over and over again... If any of my member asks me the same question over and over again,i got pissed off very easily... Especially when i have a lot of work to do... Only asks me when u have checked everything and you do not have a clue of what's going on... I have to admit that sometimes i don't know what to do as well...the team is still new and there're some cases that is unheard of before... But...for most of the times, i can always find the answer of their question when i "investigate" what's going on... I have always tell them that always check for everything 1st and make sure you have an idea of what is happening before taking any actions as our jobs requires to dig deep down the line in order to get a better and bigger picture of the situation... BUT... THEY NEVER LISTEN!!!!!! That's why i am not a good leader... Secondly, i have anger management issues... Yes...i got pissed off fairly easily...i dunno how to hide my feelings...especially when i am angry... You can always tell that i am angry... Sudden raise of the tone of my voice...indifferent expressions & gestures...hitting the keyboard very hard ( i always do that...) >.< Thirdly, i am not a good communicator... Yaya, i don't like to talk...but the fact is u have to talk...no matter what & where u work... But sometimes...i just feel like shut up and do my work quietly... Next, i am not friendly... I am not too close with my team members, both the new market & japan market ones... I do not keep in contact with them after work...
I have no idea of their latest happenings...
Also...
When they are laughing out loud to a joke or talking about something or gossipping, i would always keep quite and do my work as if nothing has happened...
I guess a good leader should be the one that knows the team member and close to them rite?
I am not... Last but not least, i have a weird personality... Sometimes i am friendly, sometimes i am very cool (cool as in "not talking") I guess my colleague must be talking behind my back,saying how weird i am... I am trying to change it...but...it's not easy...>.< HMMM... Maybe i think too much...
Recently,one of my colleague couldn't get over the fact that no increment was given as the colleague told me that the company used to have incremental reviews every half a year instead of the current one year...
The colleague also kept whinning on how bad the company is compared to the other companies out there... I was like...really?
I have always been careful on controlling my super limited budget but things are getting outta control recently...
Now i began to think...I've gotta have to make more money...
But how?
Take a part time job?
Find another job...? And to be honest, i did have the thought of looking for another job... Been searching on the job market recently for better paid jobs... But... i do not have the required experience needed in those ads... As well as skills... Or perhaps i should start a business? Online business? Franchise? Or the worst case scenario....direct selling? Really lost...
Yes...time files & without me realising it...it's been a year...
18 June 2012...the day that i met her for the 1st time...
Though it was a pretty official & important ocassion - job interview...but i just couldn't help it...
I remember i was waiting anxiously in the meeting room...
Then she walked in to interview me... I didn't realise that she was that pretty initially as i was probably too overwhelmed by the interview... Then in the middle of the interview when i looked at her carefully... Goodness Gracious...>< literally an angel was sitting in front of me... literally...i swear...
Just couldn't take my eyes off her...
I couldn't remember what i answered & what i talked about during the interview...
God must be watching my back as i didn't screw up the interview...
After leaving the company when the interview ended,i remember i went:
"Jesus Christ, how could there be such a pretty girl exists in this world...== And the rest is in history... The beginning of the good memories... The beginning of all the mistakes... Perhaps it never should've happened... Man! I can't imagine how i would react when i see this blog post a year later... Will i be laughing & thinking how idiot i am right now?
Will i be nostalgic when i read this again a year later? Or... Will i still remember this date a year later?
