Work work work...challenge challenge challenge...

Can't believe this is the 3rd post of the day...which is also the 1st time since i created this blog...

Have so many things to talk about in a sudden...

And no surprise...it's work again...

Besides the super heavy workload,new staff in the team,new team & some colleague issues which might not have even existed...there is something else...

Now i am undergoing a training in another team under the same department...the team members in that team wants me to help with their workload...thus, they want me to undergo a training so that i can help with their job in the future...

When they 1st offer that, i took it without hesitating as i thought it was an opportunity to learn new things & gain more knowledge...

But one of my colleagues told me that actually they are using me to relieve their workload and the colleague claimed that they weren't as busy as i thought & they could have handle their workload without any problem...

Also,the colleague warned me that if i did something wrong,they would in turn blaming me even if my initial intention was to help them...

The colleague also specifically mention a member in the team that i'm in training with now...saying that the member is really smart & the member is using my trust to the member to relieve the work stress...

Not only that,the colleague claimed that the member befriended me so that i could help with the job...

To add on,it would be really difficult to handle both my hectic daily work & supporting other team's work at the same time...

Thus,the colleague wants me to only focus on my daily job as my daily job is giving enough headache to me & wants me to stop backing up other team...

I did sleep on the "advice" the colleague gave me & in fact i do have problem handling both my daily work & the training right now...

But i have decided to look at it from a different way...

Instead of running away from the problems that i have right now,i choose to face it as i created all of this at the beginning...

That's why i force myself to enter the office half an hour to 40 minutes earlier now so that i can finish all my daily work...though it is tiring & it's hard to push myself out from my bed every morning...

Also,i think it's bad if i can't keep my promise by helping the other team and it might create a reputation of me having the tendency of breaking promises...

But on the other hand,i know really well that i might not have what it takes to handle all of the above at the same time... 


Am i doing the right thing?or...?

 I can still remember a line that i read from a book " Be careful of the "friendship" that turns warm in a sudden"...

The book is about how to handle relationships in a working environment...the author warns the reader to beware of friendships that turns warm in the working environment without any reason...as it might be an indication that the person carrying bad intention...

Then, i have always been careful when it comes to relationship between colleagues...that's why i don't talk much in the office or any hang out sessions organised by my colleagues...
 
Is that pathetic?or...?

2nd date...lol...(dinner only leh...><)

Been a while (around 2 months) since the 1st "date"...

During these 2 months,i was only communicating with her through social media & chats...

Though i have always wanted to ask her out...but still i chickened down every time when the thought arose...

And still i was really surprised when she asked me out for lunch yesterday...lol...was jumping up & down like a kid when i saw the message...

But when i asked for the time & place...she didn't reply...so i waited anxiously for her reply...

Time passed without me realising that it was almost lunch time & still she hadn't replied on time & place...

As a pessimist myself,i have expected the worst...maybe she'd reply saying that she's busy or something else that she'd to cancel the lunch with me...T.T

Finally...after the long wait...she did reply...saying she just woke up & suggested to change our lunch to dinner...

pheew...well...not that bad actually...

So as usual...i departed early from my house to the restaurant...just in case...something unexpected happened...

Just when i was driving on the road...she messaged me saying she'd be late...

( the above "stunt" is performed by trained "professionals" in a "controlled" environment...please do not attempt this "trick" in real life...lol...XD)

Though i replied her,telling her to take her time...but again...the pessimistic thought arose...

What if her next msg is something like...sorry i have to cancel the dinner with u...T.T

So i waited for her in front of the restaurant...fearing that she might not be turning up...

I was so anxious that i went to the toliet twice in quick succession...

Just when i walked out from the toliet when i went for the 2nd time...i saw her walking down from her car...

And the next second i was totally stunned...

She was so freaking beautiful...

She apologized for being late & explained why she was late...

As usual during the dinner...i didn't talk much...==

I had so many things i wanted to say but i didn't say...


At last we finished our meal and she insisted to pay the bill & i was surprised that she remembered that she promised to treat me...(i treated her on the last "date") 

Maybe she just wanted to get this over & done with?

So she does not owe me anything anymore?

I knew i should chersih cuz i might not know when's the next time i would be able to meet her in person...

or will there be next time?

New month...new challenge...

Today it's the last day of March...which means 2moro is the lst day of April (of course it is...idiot...><)

1st of April...aka April Fool...a day where you can't be pissed no matter how everybody else tricks you or make you angry on purpose...

But i don't give a sxxt...i'll still get mad it anyone dares to trick me 2moro...cuz 2moro's gonna be a hell of a Monday... 

As the HQ over in London closes for Easter holiday last Friday,i have to finish the pending work on Friday as well as the normal daily work 2moro...which means double workload...><

So i'm gonna be super duper busy 2moro...if anyone wants to fool me 2moro...they're doomed...==

Also,if anyone in my team dares to be on MC or EL 2moro, i swear i'll find you and shoot you myself...lol...

Not only that,there'll be 6 new staff joining my team 2moro,4 of them (maybe 3) will join the current team and the rest will join in a new team ( a new market)...

My team leader recommended me to join the new team & join the training by one of the trainer from London HQ...though the final decision on who among the current team member will join the new team is still on the hands of the trainer...

But the funny thing is,even my team leader does not have a clue on the job scope of the new team,work load,etc...==

So...am i up for the challenge?

My current workload is already suffocating...can i handle it if the new workload is even worse than now?

New challenge...

I have been working in my current company for more or less 7 months right now...

For the 1st time ever in these 7 months, i feel like i am not able to handle my job...

The past 5 days has been really stressful for me...cuz right now I'm supporting another staff in HQ...

And the workload is like 2-3 times more than my previous workload...

And the work is fxxking complicated & tedious...

I could literally spending a good half an hour searching all over the database & still do not have a single clue of what's going on...

And when i am rushing to finish my super heavy workload,mistake happens as i tend to overlook some important info...

And the staff over in headquarter is really strict and criticise my mistakes hardly...

For the 1st time ever,my foot steps are really really heavy when i step in the office... 

I always having headache sitting in front of my computer...

But...

My colleague & my team leader & even my former manager said that i do pretty well in my job...

But now i think...are they bluffing me? 

Are they trying to convince me to stay in my job?

Once my former manager said to me: You are a quick learner & you do very well in your job even if you are relatively new,so well that i could sense that someone is jealous of you...

To be honest,i was really shock when i heard that...

I always think...are they just pretend that they are friendly to me but saying something bad behind my back?

They are really really helpful when i need one...

But now i think...are they actually laughing behind my back?

Are they looking for an opportunity to backstab me?

As a result, i tend to be protective towards them...

I tend to create my own stories when they ask something about myself,my family etc instead of me telling the truth...

As a result,everyone knows a different me as i always tell different stories...

Why am i doing that?

I have no idea...

Maybe i always think that when i show the weaker side of me,they'll use that against me sooner or later...

Or have i overthought it?

From the day i started supporting my current staff right now,i told myself...

"The work is tougher,the work is more tedious...but it's fine...take it as an opportunity to learn more!!!"

"Mistakes?It's fine!!!You will only learn from mistakes!!!"

"Super heavy workload?Challenge urself,see how much u can do in that short time frame!!!"

So,i always having high spirits when i start working for the day...

But these thoughts & high spirits fade away as time goes by...

At the end of the day,i always leave the office walking like a zombie...lol...

Really feel like i do not have any strength to withstand against stress...

And i can break down just like that...

As fragile as a piece of glass...

My dept is recruiting & there'll be new staff coming in soon...

I begin to think...will these new staff replace me one day when the company finds out that they are all better than me?

Maybe i should be prepared for that...

Should I?

Today...

Today...11th March...another date that i should never forget...

Today when i was driving to work...i was so moody & did not feel like working at all...maybe cuz today is monday? Monday blue perhaps...

So,i trudged in the office & as usual i signed in my email account and i spotted something...

HER status:IN XXXX(name of my office)...

I was like...huh? serious?!

I felt awake & energetic instantly...lol...

And moments later i did saw her in the office...

Curiously,i asked her the reason of that and she replied that she needed to deal with something urgent...

And she also said she might only be in office for a day (today)

We did get to chat too much as she was too busy...

But it don't matter...

It's been a while ( around a month) since i felt anything like this...

I felt more motivated when she's around...

Oh my god...how am i going to work 2moro...the day after 2moro...the next week...omg...

But thank God for this sweet suprise...i'll take it anyway...XD

妳...最近還好嗎?

不知不覺...一個月過去了...

妳......最近還好嗎? 

S.H.E - 你最近還好嗎

挑一張耶誕卡寫上滿滿祝福的話
地址寫的是心底　你能不能收到它
天有點冷　風有點大　城市寧靜而喧嘩
這一個冬天我得一個人走回家

問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裏回聲變得好大
有沒有什麽好方法　讓寂寞變聽話
 
你最近還好嗎　是不是也在思念裏掙扎
你說會記得我　還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎　心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發

有再多的牽掛都已沒有權利表達
舊情人給的問候比陌生人還尴尬
昨天遠了　明天還長　回憶模糊但巨大
這樣的深夜眼淚要怎樣不流下

問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裏回聲變得好大
有沒有什麽好方法　讓寂寞更聽話
 
你最近還好嗎　是不是也在思念裏掙扎
你說會記得我　還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎　心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發

你最近還好嗎　是不是也在思念裏掙扎
你說會記得我　還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎　心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發

1st "monthsary"...

Yea...it's been a month since she left...

Well,not exacly a month (cuz there was only 28 days in February & there were so many holidays in between...>.<)

Just got to know that she's still adapting to the new environment & it is hard for her travelling all the way from her house to the new office...><

Just a few days ago,i found out an extremely intriguing fact: today (so call 1st mnthsary >.<) ,her big day, the day she left & the day that i claimed to be the happiest,all fell on Wednesday!!!

Coincidence? hmm...

Also,both the day she left & today shares the same day, 6th Feb & 6th March, both on Wednesday...

Creepy huh?

Just a few days ago,my colleague told me that she was in the office...on the day i was on half day leave...>.<

Haizzz...no fate...T....miss that "golden opportunity"...

Anyway we still keep in contact (chat,FB, msg & Whatsapp...=.=) but i think that's all i can ask for right?

Hey...take good care of yourself ya...don't overstress yourself...take a break when needed... 

I'll always be there for you when you need me...or do you ?

Nah... >.<

May I Love You...?

超愛這首歌...雖然是很久以前的歌...><

張智成 - May I Love You

我要如何　才能擁抱妳呢　緊緊抱著　我吻妳妳附和
從朋友　晉陞情人角色　從苦澀　轉變成了快樂
 
把鑰匙交給了妳　妳卻轉身將我囚禁
在一扇叫做等待的門裡　妳試過　那麼多心的鎖
怎麼就不來開啟　我的愛情
 
Love you, Love you, May I love you?
Tell me what to do
才能讓你不孤單　我不孤獨　一起找幸福
當這個世界一步一步華麗到荒蕪
請放心　我還是妳的信徒

Love you, Love you, May I love you?
Tell me you love me too
我可以繼續付出　付出就夠我滿足
不相信愛情對我永遠(的)殘酷
我奢望　時間會為我祝福

看著我這樣投入　難道妳都沒有感觸
不接受至少給我些幫助　就說你感動到想要哭
多少能減輕一點我的痛苦

Love you, Love you, May I love you?
Tell me what to do
才能讓你不孤單　我不孤獨　一起找幸福
當這個世界一步一步華麗到荒蕪
請放心　我還是妳的信徒

Love you, Love you, May I love you?
Tell me you love me too
我可以繼續付出　付出就夠我滿足
不相信愛情對我永遠(的)殘酷
我奢望　時間會為我祝福...